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I have been close companions for over two decades, who has overcome many challenges, her resilience is commendable. However, she has been constantly blindsided by others. Her spouse ended their marriage, and it was a massive blow. Several of her social circle disappeared during that time, since they had been drawn to her husband. She was stunned by her deeply. She put in greater energy to be my friend, probably understood more acutely what friendship was.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

Throughout this period, several close to her vanished and she isn't sure why. Her last employer turned on her, although she was very skilled at her work, and she left without knowing the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Lately, we've both retired leading to more frequent meetups, yet I realize the part I play in the relationship is as the audience. I introduce discussion points and she changes the talk toward things she cares about. Politically, she has strong opinions. My effort is to propose verifying facts or other angles.

She is planning a vacation to a country I have traveled to repeatedly and resided in for some time. I attempted to share insights, however, my input unappreciated. She purely solely sought my agreement with her decisions. I've just returned from 30 days in that country she hopes to reconnect, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling to act as a friend who cuts and runs abruptly, yet I doubt she will ever grasp the effect of her behaviour on my confidence. At this point, my state is avoidance mode. What should I do?

Possible Paths

You could cut and run, yet this is rarely a smooth outcome we hope for. However, addressing it with a view to a solution demands strength and willingness from both people.

Professional advice indicates trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step involves describing the usual pattern when you talk. It should be as factual as possible and essentially exactly what occurs. The second is to tell how this affects you emotionally. This allows for no argument here. Your feelings belong to you, after all. Step three is to ask how the two of you will alter the interaction between you."

Consider she too holds perspectives, so you need to be prepared to acknowledge it. A helpful technique is telling your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I promise to not say anything for half an hour."

It's wildly impactful in fostering better communication.

Closing Considerations

Your friend could ignore everything, as some people hold onto a deep-seated story: they rely on a narrative of their life they're unable to let go of since their identity depends upon it being the only thing familiar to them. This poses a challenge because there's no clear path with these people, mere obstacles. However, she might initially present this way before reflecting on your words. If you don't achieve an agreement, it provides closure from having been honest with her.